If You Are Fat and Lose Weight That Doesn't Mean You Are Fatphobic
What is Fatphobia?
fatphobia
Noun
(uncountable)
Fear and dislike of obese people and/or obesity.
Some feel that when a plus-size person decides to become more active and possibly lose weight that the act of losing weight is in fact fatphobic. How so? Well If you truly loved yourself then you wouldn’t want to change anything about you right? You must dislike being fat and so losing weight is an outright attack against ALL plus-sized people. Boxing in a person at a particular weight and thinking they should never change is problematic within itself. Even the leaves change year to year and a person has so many experiences and influences that push them to change in their lifetime. There is nothing wrong with a plus-size person's weight fluctuating just as there is no problem with skinny people’s weight fluctuating. The issue lies in our own personal insecurities. How so?
Well, when you are plus size and someone you admire starts losing weight, some people can internalize that and feel like someone’s personal journey is an attack on their own. Insecurities can rear its ugly head and come out as telling someone that losing weight is fatphobic. Here is a little secret, you can be happy for someone and still deal with your own stuff. Seeing a friend make changes when we personally feel stuck could be a trigger. It is ok to look at someone's accomplishments and be generally happy.
One of the body positivity arguments that many plus-size people believe is you can’t tell someone’s health by looking at them( I actually wrote a piece about why we need to STOP with the fake health concern). That is the truth. I am plus size myself, and no one knows how much I weigh or what my health is like unless I tell them(or you are my doctor). So why is it that when some people decide to be active or workout, and with that MAY come weight loss they are looked at as being FATPHOBIC? They are in fact practicing SELF LOVE! which is the foundation on which the body positivity movement is based on. Our bodies are always changing, with age, weight, gravity, carrying children, etc. It is very important to learn to love your body no matter what shape you are in at the moment and if you want to make changes to that body be it cosmetic, weight loss, change of style, etc that is ok too.
Having the time of my life in my fat body and not worried about someone else and how the make changes to their body.
Learning to love the body that you are in means you take care of it the way YOUR body needs. Since everyone's needs are different wouldn’t it make sense that our body would be different as well? It is very hypocritical to want body positivity and for people to accept out plus size bodies but we do not show that same courtesy to those who feel it necessary to be more active and they HAPPEN to lose weight while doing so.
It’s not about you, it’s ok to be happy for someone’s journey in Their life. (Photo by Jennifer Enujiugha from Pexels)
I have seen bloggers and friends lose weight and with this, they have lost followers and friends. Why? When you accomplish something and feel good about things you will share it and when you follow someone on social media or associate with them the appropriate thing to do is realize that THEY are entitled to show and talk about things in THEIR life. The changes a person makes in their own life is none of our business if it doesn’t personally affect us. Being triggered by, someone, losing weight is not attacking us personally. We need to stop hiding behind triggers and actually get the help we need to work THROUGH those triggers. Learn to set up HEALTHY boundaries when needed. Telling someone that you because they are doing something they have decided their body need is fatphobic is ridiculous. When need to ask ourselves is that trauma or facts talking? when we are triggered. and answer honestly. Chances are that when we see someone share their weight loss it has NOTHING to do with us but everything to do with their own PERSONAL journey.
I am not going to sit here and say that the weight loss/Diet community isn’t problematic but who isn’t? People have to live their lives and that includes making a personal reflection and doing what you need to make you personally happy and healthy. It takes a lot to recognize that a change needs to be made, makes a plan, and then EXECUTE that plan. I am always rooting for ANYONE that makes positive personal steps in their life. NO. matter if you are working towards a goal for your body(to be active, weight loss, etc) or working on healing yourself so you aren’t easily triggered but what someone chooses to do with THEIR life. Keep on Keeping on.
Much Love
Amber Nycole