Five Things To Do When You Feel Like You're Not Where You Are Supposed To Be In Life.
When it comes to my life, I can remember being in a place where I was so down because I was NOT where I wanted to be, whether that was in a relationship, at work, or just life goals in general. I can remember feeling that way in my teens, 20’s and again in my 30’s. It wasn’t until my 30’s that I realized NO ONE HAS THEIR LIFE TOGETHER!! We are all in different stages, and one moment we may look like we have it all, but in another, we are climbing out of a valley. Life is full of ups and downs.
Before social media, we would only see the life of those we knew personally. Now we have access to billions of peoples lives and it's just an explore page away. Seeing people announce their life accomplishments can make you start questioning where you are in your life and what are you doing? The truth is no one shares everything; you know the saying real G’s move in silence. There are accomplishments that people have been working on for ten plus years and it seems like all of a sudden they make announcements, and they are labeled an overnight success. Or someone announces a happy life accomplishment (engagement, happy relationship, baby on the way, etc) and you have no idea what personal failings they had to go through to get to their happy point.
Many of us at one moment and time, felt we are nowhere near what we expected our life to be. It's because of these expectations that many feel down about where they are. When I look back on the moments, I felt like my circumstances and life were the worst it was an opportunity for me to grow and to keep pushing myself to accomplish my goals. We all have hardships some worse than others but at the end of the day its how WE look at our life that matters the most.
1. Change the way you look at your life.
Perspective is everything. When I wake up in the morning first thing I do is acknowledge that I have another day to live. I suffer from depression, and there are days where I have a constant battle with myself, but I find joy in the fact that I get to spend another day with my family. I make it a point for myself to see at least ONE thing in my life that I can be happy about each day. It can be something so small, as in the way the light came into my room and reflected off my favorite picture. Whatever it is that made you happy that day, reflect on it. These small reflections can help you not focus on the things you haven’t accomplished but on the things that can elevate your mood.
2.Set smaller goals
It’ s GREAT to set big goals that you can accomplish but sometimes attaining those goals can take longer than we expect and let's face it, those timelines can be out of our control. The true way to reach your big goals is to align smaller goals that will put you on track to the big ones. YOU decide how small of a goal you want to set a day, week, month goal are great to work towards a big end goal. Making a list of the things you want to accomplish and checking them off gives you a physical way to see what you have accomplished. Remember small movement is STILL movement. Don’t get caught up in how long it takes you to achieve big goals but make sure you’re always moving towards them
3.Appreciate the small things
I always tell my friends that a lot can change in a year, chances are you have learned something about yourself in a year. Focus on that and give yourself commendation. So many times we tend to focus on the things we don’t have and forget the things we do have. You will always have growth in something in a year, something you can be thankful to have. Journal every day and at the end of the week jot down five things you can appreciate about that week. It helps you focus on the things you’ve accomplished and never diminish those accomplishments.
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4. Stop trying to so hardfigure thing out
Often we wonder if we are at the job we should have, in the relationship we should be in and at times we try so hard to make those work when in reality we should have let them go along time ago. We shouldn’t get in the mindset that we should be anywhere in life. Everyone accomplishes things at different times, and that doesn’t diminish those accomplishments if you reach them later in life than others. Stop trying so hard to put yourself in a box made by others. You are your OWN person and its ok to let go of the expectations where you THINK you should be in life.
5. Go with the flow and trust your process.
There is only one thing you can change for sure in life, and that's your attitude and the way you look at a situation. You have to be confident that where you are in your life is ok and there is always room for improvement. Release the expectations you have set for yourself by looking at others attain their goals. You don’t know what they have gone through and trust that you will reach the goals you set for yourself. Keep moving forward at all times.
At the end of the day its YOUR life, so live it! You don’t have to be on anyone's timeframe.