You Don't Have To Feel Sorry For Me Or My Autistic Son

Before we go over my findings I am sure you want to know the diagnosis. Your son does have ASD or Aspergers as you suspected. He has such a great heart and is a great kid now lets go over the charts on how I came to that diagnosis….

These were the words that my husband and I heard on June 25, 2019. I wasn’t sad at that diagnosis, it is one that from doing my own research that I had diagnosed my son with. I was the one who made an appt with his pedi and said I know I haven’t brought this concern up at ANY of his appointments but I need him to be checked to see if he is on the spectrum.

The older my son was becoming the more I realized that he thought, communicated and acted different from his peers. His pediatrician at first tried to say that it was just something he would grow out of but I persisted and said NO, my son needs to be evaluated, I spend more time with him that anyone and I know what I am seeing. We were then referred to a psychologist because a behavioral pediatrician had a six month wait list.

I have to say that trying to get a diagnosis is one of the hardest things. Some doctors don’t even work with kids over 5 and my son would be six by the time we would have been able to get in. Studies show that many times Aspergers is misdiagnosed at young age and they receive their real diagnosis age 6 and older. You also have to go through your child’s pediatrician, even if you have a PPO and don’t NEED a referral, no one would set an appt up with me because they needed a piece of paper to tell them my pediatrician thought there was a chance my son had ASD. So right away I realized that I have to REALLY fight for the care that my son will need.

While going through the process I would try and find some encouragement online and from diffrent sources and I was baffled at the amount of parents that would say they were told “sorry you have a child with autism” LOOK this is a neurological disorder, they think diffrent because the brain is wired diffrent. It had nothing to do with food consumed, vaccinations, what the mother did while pregnant etc. This is not something that needs to be cured. It is something that people need to learn about and figure out how to treat someone with differences like a human being.

Although I am learning there are ways that I have to go about my life a little differently. To be honest I wasn't sure if I was going to share my feelings on my blog. I have shared a little bit on my IG. I realize that my son is the one who has to live with this and there will come a time when he wants to(or not) tell his story. Sharing my feelings and not trying to speak for him is a delicate balance. . People are so quick to judge when he has a meltdown, or is overstimulated and is physically frozen and can’t speak to you. Yes these are things we can work on but it will take time. In the meantime educate yourself, look up TED talks from people with Aspergers or anyone on the spectrum.Read books! there is so much information out there. Another way you can educate yourself is by realizing it is a spectrum and that many people have diffrent experiences.

One thing is for sure, there is no need for you to feel sorry for my family. We know what an amazing child we have, we are educating ourselves on how we can make his home life and upbringing one that teaches and brings joy. Of course there will be bumps in the road (figuring out discipline, figuring out triggers that cause meltdowns, dealing with sensory overload etc.) He is a beautiful soul who just looks at the world a little different and I for one love to get a different perspective on things.