Is Submission In A Marriage Outdated?

Recently Signer Fantasia has gone viral with her thoughts on submission in a marriage and why she feels so many women are single, I don’t think you should tell anyone WHY they are still single(you should just drink your water and worry about yourself) I think that Submission and Headship in a marriage is a great principle to follow and one that I practice in my marriage.


There was sooooo much backlash towards Fantashia that she and her husband decided to get on IG live and explain their beliefs. So is this an outdated concept for the modern woman? To answer that is an individual question. God has given us free will to do whatever we please. I can only share with you why it works for my family and why this concept keeps our marriage running smooth and happy.

Why are we treating the word submission like its a BAD word? The word is defined as :The action or fact of accepting or yielding to a superior force or to the will or authority of another. This means that humility and meekness must be shown on behalf of the person who submits. Those are not archaic or bad qualities. We submit to MANY things daily. A red light tells us when we can go; A friend tells us they aren’t comfortable talking about something, A mortgage lender tells us how much we have to spend on a new home, a daycare tells us that we cant bring our sick child into the office to be watched. There are many ways we show submission, and no one seems to bat an eye. However, you say that as a wife you submit to your husband and all of a sudden you are a “Pick Me” or living in the Stone Age.

We ask why so many people get divorced, and the truth is there are many factors. Many don’t work as a team and lack the humility to yield. Compromise is a part of life, and there is a balance between changing who you are entirely and working together to accomplish a life long marriage.

The word itself is defined as the action or fact of accepting or yielding to a superior force or to the will or authority of another. This means that humility and meekness must be shown on behalf of the person who submits. Those are not archaic or bad qualities

For me, my faith is so important. I follow the Bible, as does my husband. The Bible is full of principles that we live by, and we wholeheartedly believe in it. We are convinced, without any doubt, that without these bible principles, our marriage would crumble and fail. My husband and I are a team, and I am an intelligent, opinionated person; however, I also use the Bible for guidance in all things I do. My husband is loving, understanding, a great partner, and god-fearing man. These are some of the qualities I looked for when choosing who I wanted in a husband.

Submission is not a bad word. 

When we are employees, we have a task we must do. When we are a boss, we expect our employees to do the job that is asked. There is an order. Each employee of a company has a role and different skill sets. An employee may speak to the boss and give an idea(that idea may be fantastic) The boss may take into consideration what has been presented. It may even sway their decision they had previously made, but, at the end of the day, the boss has the final say in the direction to take his company.

Some people indeed abuse submission and headship, but that is why you must make sure you pick the right partner when you think about getting married. When everyone in the family works on their roles, it runs like a well-oiled machine. Now, you might read this and think I am a pick me woman and feel sorry for my mindset. Don’t worry, I am happy in my 14 years of marriage, and that is a feat that many people will not get to see accomplished. I have a husband who cooks, cleans, takes care of his children and works full time. I have two children who are happy and are learning morals and how to trust in Jehovah God as well as live by bible principles. I love my life, and I have no problem sharing little parts of my life, and I am also confident that I have made the right choices. 

I am not one to tell ANYONE how they should live. As I said above, we all have free will to do as we please. So if submission seems archaic to you and you don’t look to the Bible for guidance that is fine. But as for me and my household…submission works for us. It is tried and true. We know that with submission comes humility, compassion, and willingness to work together. That doesn't sound outdated one bit.