The lesson I have learned from Butterflies.
One of my favorite things about spring is looking at butterflies. If I find a butterfly garden I am in HEAVEN. Beautiful scents and colors from the flowers and delicate butterflies landing on unsuspecting humans and just going about from flower to flower. Butterflies also symbolize change because physically they change from a caterpillar to a winged animal. I can only image what it would be like to only see the world from the grown then you go to sleep and wake up able to see life from a new point of view..in the AIR.
Although I can't understand that from a physical sense I can really understand that from a mental stance. Somedays I find myself in thought about the growth I have made and where I want to be 1,5 or even 10 years from now. The other day I was thinking about my marriage and how I was when we first got married. I was raised by someone who is manipulative and knows how to get her way. I too know how to do this. I have never seen my mother in a healthy relationship in her life. I didn't have a good example.
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The truth is that I was good at manipulating as well and I have a patient husband who stuck by me. I use to have this feeling of treating them bad and detach before they do. That is what I was taught. I was STRONG, I didn't need anyone and I couldn't trust anyone. These are a recipe for DISASTER in a marriage or ANY relationship you have in life. If you are always looking out for number 1 how will get to know anyone. I was fine being alone and when people would make mistakes in friendship or even my relationship I was quick to call it out and not express myself when they had hurt me. I was known to hurt you worse than you hurt me.
I am not perfect and it's through growing up, prayer, and therapy that I realized what I was doing. I didn't learn until year five of my marriage that I couldn't just treat people any ol way and expect them to stay with me. I like that caterpillar who would one day be a butterfly had to figuratively hide away in my cocoon and really work on my inner self and learn HEALTHY ways to deal with conflict, communication, and trauma that I have had in my life.
All too often people look down at therapy and feel like you don't need it. Although it can be a little daunting to find the RIGHT therapist for you it is amazing when you do. There is so much growth that can be accomplished but YOU have to put in the work yourself. It's not enough to go there and bare all your grievances and think you are not part of the problem. No matter what kind of trauma we have been through it is OUR choice how we will react to situations in life.
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I am thankful that I had a patient spouse, I am thankful that I have and CONTINUE to put in the work with therapy and I encourage everyone to journal as much as possible. Even if you can't make it to a therapist you can always write about what is going on with you. It's therapeutic. Also, don't let anyone stop you from getting the help you need. With mental disorders affecting 1 in 4 people, it's important for us to practice self-care. Self-care isn't always about bubble baths and a spa. Self-care is also putting in work and acknowledging the hurt you may have caused someone. Forgiving those who have hurt you(just because you forgive it doesn't mean you need to be friends or have them apart of your life) and dealing with the repercussions of the actions.
Butterflies are a great example of changing. We all need to change over the course of our lives and we will, either for the good or bad. I encourage all of my readers to really take a long hard look at what they truly need to make positive growth happen. Never let anyone stop you from growing including your self. Spread those wings and fly.
